Gabrielle's Story
When I went up north, I had the best time ever! When I got there I saw the huge lake with the big trampoline on it. I asked my cousin “What is that thing on the side of the trampoline?”, but she just said “You will have to wait and see” So after we unpacked the car. I got my swimsuit on and headed for the lake. As I got into the freezing water, I saw I line leading to the trampoline and asked my cousin about it. She said there was a very popular activity that was worth waiting in a line for. She looked at her dad and they laughed, so I knew it was either something I would hate, or something I would love. After about 10 minutes it was my turn to do this amazing/ not so amazing activity. I stepped up the ladder and onto the trampoline, with her dad behind me. Then I realized that it was a blow up… something. I climbed onto the other end and jumped around on it for a while. Just as I stood up, though, her father jumped on the opposite end and I went flying off of this blow up thing. I was startled at first, but when I hit the water, I swam back to the end of the line. It was the most fun I had ever had!!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
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7 comments:
To me from me: Im really bored!! So im just commenting on my own?? I'm really weird
i love your story! sounds like u had aton of fun!
~maggie~
That sounds fun!
I think I have been on one of those trampolines in the wate before!
fun fun fun
-Lucy
Gabby,
It does sound like fun. When writing dialogue remember to punctuate - each new speaker is a new line. Plus, use commas in all complex sentences where the dependent clause is first.
Mrs. Kayzar
That sounds like a pretty cool experiece, I've been on one of those things to, and I was never able to stay on before someone else jumped on because I always fell off the side.
~RACHAEL~
Ru kidding we r up north! ur story was pretty good but needed more detail a little confusing
*Maddie
Take a look at my blog... If ur bored or something...
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