Friday, February 15, 2008
Samantha Schoenheider
Happily, I dove off the diving board into the pool. I was in Disney world, for my brother had made it to nationals. We were staying with our friends from the basketball team, luckily my friend Jenny could come. The house was amazing. It had a arcade in the basement, and it also had a huge pool in the backyard! Though my favorite part was that the house was in walking distance to Disney, our parents let Jenny and I go to the parks, we had so much fun! My favorite park was Magic Kingdom! We went on Splash Mountain eleven times; I had to get a perfect picture. My brother’s basketball games though were very fun, Jenny and I spent an hour just trying to find a place in the building where they sold pretzels! Surprisingly my brother team got forty-sixth place! I had so much fun at Nationals, and did not want to leave. Hopefully, I will get to go to nationals again someday!
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20 comments:
Emily Robinson--lucky! i want to go!
that must have been funn!!!
I wish i could go to disney world.
-kevin
that must have been fun!
~soumya
That sounds like a lot of fun! i love going to Disney!!
~Christie
That is so cool! I love Disney World and Magic Kingdom is also my favorite park.
~Kayla
that seems like a lot of fun! i would love to be able to stay in walking distance of Disney!!!!
Marissa
That sounds so kewl!
*Maddie
hey sam that sounds really fun!! I love disney and magia kingdom especially Splash mt is my most favorite ride!!!
divya
Sounds fun! I love Disney! Great Job Samanthta!
~Laurel
That trip must have been so fun! That's so cool that Nationals is in Disney World!
*Mackenzie
Wow! That sounds so mush fun!! It seems like your trip to disney was 10X more fun than mine!
Wow! That sounds so mush fun!! It seems like your trip to disney was 10X more fun than mine!- GabbyL**
Hi it sounded fun but How many teams were there in the nationals? It was ok but you barly talked about the rides. Still good :] Cole L.
cool i love disney world and florida it is so much fun!!!
-CLAIRE COOROUGH
That sounds like it was fun! I've never been to Disney World, but I hope I get to go someday.
~Elizabeth
sweet! that must have been such a fun trip!
*~Marie
Samantha,
You could have added details. Remember when writing to use show vs. tell. Make the reader feel like they are there.
Mrs. Kayzar
It sounds like you had an awsome trip! Splash Mountain is my favorite ride! I would have loved to go on the ride 11 times. I hope you get to go to nationals one day! Great job!!!!
~Bethany~
SWEET!!! i luv disney world! that must have been a fun trip! lol!
great story and good sentence structure!! good job!!
~cLaIrBeAr~
♥
I love disney world
you you are sooo lucky!!!!!
me jealousss
~LUCAAYYY
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