Friday, February 15, 2008
ANDREW
Tiredly, I walked through the flashy, lighted hallway to my hotel room. Las Vegas hotel is really remarkable. We had a great room in a cool hotel complete with slots and shops. The next day we explored down stairs. We saw a Krispy Kreme store where you could se the donuts being made so, we went over. Some donuts came out raw. It was so fun. We had to leave the next morning, and we were disappointed. As our car rolled out we saw all the lights that made Las Vegas so famous. There was a roller coaster on one of the hotels. Wow this place is cool.
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8 comments:
Sounds fun. Good story. :)
~Laurel
Well next time you go bring me with you so i can GAMBLE! :} Cole L
o.
divya
Andrew,
Does your topic sentence reflect what the paragraph is about? You first stated the hotel then talked about doughnouts? You said it was fun but I am wondering why? We have Krispy Kreme here in WI.
Look at the organization and don't forget to check spelling.
Mrs. Kayzar
I wood totally have ridin that roller coaster!
*Maddie
Sounds like fun, fun, fun!!- GabbyL**
great story, great sentence structure.
Fix this. In the 5th sentance you have [where you could se donuts] Se is not a words. Just a heads up. :} Cole L
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