By: Tim Wucki
I, my family, and Cole went laser tagging. The course was in a jungle theme. It had two stories. The lower floor had a big opening in the middle where a tower was in the middle. The upstairs has only one walkway to get across and has good sniping spots. We started our first game. Cole jumped on top of the pillar and he started to slow dance with his boyfriend, a purple monkey. We got the snot beat out of us. In the second game, we had the advantage because we know the course and we had numbers on our side. Eric felt more confident then before, so he sniped from the top. We owned all the little fools. We had a great time.
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8 comments:
Ummmm...maybe you should write a actual story next time. You are a good writer but you need more solid, fisable ideas. Good luck.
i liked the part with cole slow dancing
Is any of this true? your topic sentence has the order of the subjects wrong. it should be: you, them he she they name, then I. also i'm not sure whether or not laser tagging is a verb or if tagging is a word at all.
ummm....okkkk, nice story... but maybe you should make it nonfiction next time
Tim,
I am impressed with no errors. Good job. Read the comments from your peers; they have some valid points.
Is it true? purple monkey?
laser tagging - I do think is correct.
Pronoun usage
Mrs. Kayzar
THIS IS TRUE! INCLUDING THE PURPLE MONKEY. TIM
I am tim wucki and i approve this message.
It is true100%
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